Friday, December 9, 2011

Day 205: Progress

So had an interview locally on Wednesday. It went well, but there's one huge sticking point that might be an issue. Time will tell.

Even better, a really fantastic prospect contacted me about my candidacy. This would be a major move but also a sort of "destination" job that might be "the one." A longshot; the employer will need to take a bit of a leap of faith, which I honestly addressed in our exchange. The fact that they are still interested is a very good sign. I'm not interested in playing the game any more: if we get each other, we're going to have something great. So might as well be completely upfront about my vision, and theirs.

Because of Becky and just the way the holiday season hits me, I've been thinking a lot about loss and our relatively short spans here. I see people who are just getting into their adult years and I now understand why so many people before us shook their heads and shrugged at us when we were that age. Most of these kids just don't get it. They look at time as endless, and at themselves as bulletproof. There's a certain innocence and beauty in it, this feeling that things are still possible. But the reality is that by this time many things are already predetermined for them, and breaking free of that is going to get harder as they go along.

It's like driving down a street that you think might get you to where you want to go. If you don't know, you have no real idea. Going on feel has a certain charm to it, but only if the end destination isn't something important. If the destination is your future life, that's a pretty risky way to get there. You don't know if the road is a dead end, or dangerous, or void of gas stations or food or lodging (i.e., opportunity)... if it's a joyride, that might be something you can overcome. If you want to do something specific, it's going to put that at risk.

Once M and I took a free-form trip. We went to Boston from Montreal, and back. Going to Boston we took a straightforward trip but the trip back was not set. We had no timetable so it was OK to "riff" a bit. It turned out to be a great idea. I can't remember what I did Monday, but I can remember almost minute-by-minute the things that happened on those hot summer days.

Chris Guillebeau preaches about breaking free from the conventional life almost all of us are sentenced to. It's not easy. I haven't been able to, for a variety of reasons, including the fear of taking that big a risk. I haven't defined exactly what I want to be when I grow up. But at least I know that when I figure that out, I'd damned sure better have a plan to get there. It won't happen by accident.

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