Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological affliction suffered by some abuse victims. The terms describes a condition where the victim develops empathy for his or her oppressor. They become normalized to the abuse and even consider the lack of overt abuse as a certain kindness and caring.
I think I'm feeling this.
I haven't heard from the folks I interviewed with 10 days ago. I was told at the end of the expensive, two-day process that I would hear something "in a few days." This being a Tuesday, I expected that meant likely by Friday. That was last Friday.
So now almost another week has passed. And I'm making excuses for the interviewers:
1) "Well, they said a few days. That could be more than a week, easily."
2) "It was Memorial Day weekend. That probably delayed the process."
3) "A lot of people take Memorial Day week off. Maybe the decider is on vacation this week."
4) "They're probably sending a formal offer letter, and it's gotten delayed in the mail because of the holiday week."
5) etc.
Of course, experience has told me that when things take this course, it usually means:
1) They've made a decision, and are waiting for that to be squared away before extending the offer to anyone else or notifying.
2) They aren't good with the aftermath, and I'm waiting for a train that's long since left the station.
3) Hot and heavy on the front end has become cold and careless on the back end, and my obligatory rejection notice is moving through the slowed snail-mail process.
My instincts tell me that it's over for me, I'm out, and that soon the official notice will come. My stupid hope won't let me believe that I'm once again a bridesmaid.
I love being right. How I hope I am wrong.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The Internets
Last I checked, it is full on 2012.
So there's just no possible excuse if you're a business to not have a strong presence on the Web. It's astonishing, but I admit to having worked places that didn't understand the importance of a powerful online voice.
Just looked at a job ad and couldn't find the Web site for the associated company. You've got to do your homework on a company to see if it's a good fit, you can't just willy-nilly apply for something and hope later that the marriage is going to work. This prevents you from working for Al Qaeda front groups. Or CIA front groups. Either way, do your homework.
After looking at what might be the company's Web page (the site looks shady), I'm not going to go any further down that road. Why waste my time?
Company, if you're legit, you need to scream that online. Your Web site is who you are.
You'd think that companies would get this by now. It sets off major alarms when one doesn't. Slow traffic keep right.
Day 377: Could This Be The Day?
Well, yeah, of course it could.
Just got a call from a 310 area code number. Heart-in-throat time. Turns out it was a property management company returning a call regarding a place I'd seen in Torrance. I told them I hoped to be needing their services soon but that I couldn't exactly go tour a place today.
In the meantime, a handful of interesting local prospects are on the scene, and time will tell how that shakes out. It's actually a kind of exciting time. Something's got to give!
My advice, brethren, during these times of uncertainty is to try and stay as positive as you can. It doesn't just help you mentally/emotionally but I think it helps physically as well. Stress is a proven cause of stress. (HA!)
When you fret, it can manifest itself with a weakened physical condition. You just feel run-down. So that's when it's even more important to work to stay alert, stay active.
Today I will brave the dog park for the first time since the Great (Awful) Poop Swim Incident. Hopefully I won't have a stinky dog for sale by the time I get back.
Now if that western job offer will just come along...
Just got a call from a 310 area code number. Heart-in-throat time. Turns out it was a property management company returning a call regarding a place I'd seen in Torrance. I told them I hoped to be needing their services soon but that I couldn't exactly go tour a place today.
In the meantime, a handful of interesting local prospects are on the scene, and time will tell how that shakes out. It's actually a kind of exciting time. Something's got to give!
My advice, brethren, during these times of uncertainty is to try and stay as positive as you can. It doesn't just help you mentally/emotionally but I think it helps physically as well. Stress is a proven cause of stress. (HA!)
When you fret, it can manifest itself with a weakened physical condition. You just feel run-down. So that's when it's even more important to work to stay alert, stay active.
Today I will brave the dog park for the first time since the Great (Awful) Poop Swim Incident. Hopefully I won't have a stinky dog for sale by the time I get back.
Now if that western job offer will just come along...
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Day 376: Drafty
I've got 13 posts in draft form. They're a cross-section of random thoughts/short article ideas that haven't yet been strong enough to leave the nest. I had two good ideas in the last couple of days that I want to investigate.
This is progress. I used to ruminate on ideas that I thought had some legs, then wouldn't write them down or follow the muse for long and they disappeared back into the ether.
Now I write sometimes in a way that I don't really love. I put the idea down and come back to it hours/days/weeks later. I've been working on one thing for it seems like a year now. I've got two short story ideas that I've literally been futzing over for more than a decade each.
I prefer to sit down, blast it out and be done with it. I've come to look at this as sometimes a lazy approach.
It's much harder to let something grow at its own pace. But I've learned to just let it be.
My advice is to make notes of everything that crosses your mind that interests you as having potential to be good. Leave yourself a voicemail. Scribble a note on a napkin. Whatever. You'll eventually discover if the idea is worth pursuing.
This is progress. I used to ruminate on ideas that I thought had some legs, then wouldn't write them down or follow the muse for long and they disappeared back into the ether.
Now I write sometimes in a way that I don't really love. I put the idea down and come back to it hours/days/weeks later. I've been working on one thing for it seems like a year now. I've got two short story ideas that I've literally been futzing over for more than a decade each.
I prefer to sit down, blast it out and be done with it. I've come to look at this as sometimes a lazy approach.
It's much harder to let something grow at its own pace. But I've learned to just let it be.
My advice is to make notes of everything that crosses your mind that interests you as having potential to be good. Leave yourself a voicemail. Scribble a note on a napkin. Whatever. You'll eventually discover if the idea is worth pursuing.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Day 374: Strength
Whatever happens, happens. You've got to be able to pick up and keep growing, keep moving.
It's not as easy as it sounds, but it is a bottom line. I've been better this week about not lamenting this or that and keeping positive. I've got to believe that one way or another, things are going to work out.
It's not as easy as it sounds, but it is a bottom line. I've been better this week about not lamenting this or that and keeping positive. I've got to believe that one way or another, things are going to work out.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Day 372: Poetry
I love Dylan Thomas. Today, this poem of his occupies my thoughts...
I know this vicious minute's hour
I know this vicious minute's hour;
It is a sour motion in the blood,
That, like a tree, has roots in you,
And buds in you,
Each silver moment chimes in steps of sound,
And I, caught in mid-air perhaps,
Hear and am still the little bird,
You have offended, periodic heart;
You I shall drown unreasonably,
Leave you in my to be found
Darker than ever,
Too full with blood to let my love flow in.
Stop is unreal;
I want reality to hold within my palm,
Not, as a symbol, stone, speaking or no,
But it, reality, whose voice I know
To be the circle not the stair of sound.
Go is my wish;
Then shall I go,
But in the light of going
Minutes are mine
I could devote to other things.
Stop has no minutes,
but I go or die
I know this vicious minute's hour
I know this vicious minute's hour;
It is a sour motion in the blood,
That, like a tree, has roots in you,
And buds in you,
Each silver moment chimes in steps of sound,
And I, caught in mid-air perhaps,
Hear and am still the little bird,
You have offended, periodic heart;
You I shall drown unreasonably,
Leave you in my to be found
Darker than ever,
Too full with blood to let my love flow in.
Stop is unreal;
I want reality to hold within my palm,
Not, as a symbol, stone, speaking or no,
But it, reality, whose voice I know
To be the circle not the stair of sound.
Go is my wish;
Then shall I go,
But in the light of going
Minutes are mine
I could devote to other things.
Stop has no minutes,
but I go or die
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Day 371: Pre-Sad
OK, you serial optimists out there won't like this one.
I call it "pre-sad" as a hedge against the possibility that in my fifth strong prospect for employment during this time, I once again don't bring him the gold.
A lot about this one has been different. I wasn't as nervous going into the interviews. I felt calmer, more poised. Ready. Now, I feel something else different... instead of expecting to hear the good news and being crushed if it doesn't happen, I'm just going to presume that it's a tossup, and not be too devastated if I don't get it.
I think it was Steve Nash who talked about the mindset during playoff basketball that players have. Paraphrasing, he said that when you win a game, you feel like you're never going to lose, and when you lose, you feel like you'll never win again.
Make no mistake: If the answer is no, I will be crushed. I went 3,000 miles to get this one and spent almost $900. Not only that, I showed them that I can do the job.
The person who finishes second in the Heisman voting is still a helluva football player, he just didn't win the biggest prize.
So today I'm a little blue, not knowing yet, and not wanting to get my high hopes any higher. Maybe it will work out, and in a few days I'll be tasked with planning a major move and a new life. Or maybe it won't.
It's out of my hands now.
So, today I am looking and applying for other jobs. One way or the other, the future awaits.
But I still want to believe. Yesterday, driving on Interstate 40, something interesting happened. I tend to believe in kismet, fate, whatever you want to call it. I believe in signs. I believe that if we are open to it, we can see things in our world that provide a glimpse into the bigness of everything around us... things we get too caught up in our daily BS to see and admire. It's a shame. I prefer to have some magic in the world, some hope that there is something bigger than just this. Some people have this fulfilled by religion.
Anyway, I'm driving down the road and I see a truck with California plates. Odd enough in BFE Oklahoma. I then noticed the word "victorious." I hope they're talking to me.
I call it "pre-sad" as a hedge against the possibility that in my fifth strong prospect for employment during this time, I once again don't bring him the gold.
A lot about this one has been different. I wasn't as nervous going into the interviews. I felt calmer, more poised. Ready. Now, I feel something else different... instead of expecting to hear the good news and being crushed if it doesn't happen, I'm just going to presume that it's a tossup, and not be too devastated if I don't get it.
I think it was Steve Nash who talked about the mindset during playoff basketball that players have. Paraphrasing, he said that when you win a game, you feel like you're never going to lose, and when you lose, you feel like you'll never win again.
Make no mistake: If the answer is no, I will be crushed. I went 3,000 miles to get this one and spent almost $900. Not only that, I showed them that I can do the job.
The person who finishes second in the Heisman voting is still a helluva football player, he just didn't win the biggest prize.
So today I'm a little blue, not knowing yet, and not wanting to get my high hopes any higher. Maybe it will work out, and in a few days I'll be tasked with planning a major move and a new life. Or maybe it won't.
It's out of my hands now.
So, today I am looking and applying for other jobs. One way or the other, the future awaits.
But I still want to believe. Yesterday, driving on Interstate 40, something interesting happened. I tend to believe in kismet, fate, whatever you want to call it. I believe in signs. I believe that if we are open to it, we can see things in our world that provide a glimpse into the bigness of everything around us... things we get too caught up in our daily BS to see and admire. It's a shame. I prefer to have some magic in the world, some hope that there is something bigger than just this. Some people have this fulfilled by religion.
Anyway, I'm driving down the road and I see a truck with California plates. Odd enough in BFE Oklahoma. I then noticed the word "victorious." I hope they're talking to me.
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